Anxious

I had a problem with my lens which I didn't know that. It wasted lots lots of films, time and other people's time.......... but I did meet the 10 pictures for the competition, which I'd like to submit!

I saw 11 pictures of Being in the lab this afternoon, but I'm still feeling so anxious. I even went to the Buddhist Center, which on my way to the lab, I was calm there, but I was trying so hard.

Before you do a project, you are feeling anxious, because you are thinking that you should do something. When you're doing a project, you're still feeling so anxious, because you are thinking whether I do a good job or not......... I wish I was not a photographer in my next life. BUT FOR THIS LIFE I AM A PHOTOGRAPHER! According to Buddhism - Everything is already there, everything has been achieved already. I'm going to continue the project BEING! (I don't think medication helps reducing anxious!)

2:10, Simon Amstell:'A bit of yoga, a bit of meditation but I'm still anxious!'
I love him recently, he really says what I'm feeling, what I am doing about life, but he is gay...

The Project title changed to BEING

After two shots and discussing with my friends about the on-going project I am working on currently, I found that I was overly into the idea of 'love' and 'in love'. I did some investigation in to current scientific research on 'love' and more crazily I even tried to measure the unmeasurable feelings of 'love'. I also questioned myself - maybe the quote in the original title was trying too hard to play with the words.

I went to a talk last week, it was a talk by one of my favorite photographers - Edward Burtynsky, at the newly reestablished building of The Photographer Gallery. He names his works super simply: Oil, Water, China and Mine etc., but I found there was so much addressed meaning behind these simple words.

I had a chat with my auntie Moni, she told me what one of her friends, who now is a nun, had once told her about "a simplified way to explain the relationship". The nun said that the relationship has three stages 'in love', 'love' and 'being'. Through my still pictures and the slow process of photographing by the 4x5 large format camera, I can't really catch the feelings of 'in love' and 'love', but I can really capture the moment that the couples being together with each other.

Therefore I decided that I would change my project title to BEING.

My second photograph - Irian and Bogdan

My second photograph which I did on 20th May last Sunday. Irian and Bogdan, thanks very much! I had a great day with you two!

The first shoot for the project

The picture is from my digital test, my final one was taken by 4x5 Toko camera. Thanks to Lu & Mo for their help and support in my project!

See the attached picture to get an idea of the types of details I am looking for in my project.
1, Lu is a ceramic designer and a tea expert, the tea cup indicates her profession.
2, Computer - Lu & Mo met one another through the Internet.
3, Cuff links and engagement ring.
4, The bandage is from the wedding day when they were having their wedding pictures taken, Lu fell because of the shoes (7) and Lu ended up having a bandage on her knee during the reception.
5, The beautiful icing sugar flowers are from their wedding cake and were made by a friend of Lu's.
6, A wedding gift, exclusively handmade by one of Lu's bride's attendants at one of the most traditional ceramic factories in England.
7, The wedding shoes that caused Lu to fall on her wedding day, as mentioned above.
8, The wedding certificate.
9, On the card "A healthy rosemary plant growing by the kitchen door shows that a strong woman lives in the house."
10, The wedding card was drawn by me during the morning of their wedding day, because I was concentrating extremely hard I lost track of time and was late for the town hall registry ceremony - What a best friend!...
11, Mo is a network architect and loves electronic music, the symbol is for one of his favourite record labels.

In the above picture I have been revealing all the details on the pictures. What I really want to deliver is 'audiences are reading meaning into everything'.  Decoding the symbols and transforming according to your own interpretations, I think that is the beauty of the picture. It is the beauty of love.

Whatever 'In Love' Means - A photography project

The photography project called "Whatever 'In Love' Means", which is a quote from Prince Charles on the day when he engaged to Princess Diana.

Love and in love, for you, might be magnificent cliché subjects, but for me, when I question, ‘What do they mean?’ I find in reality my perception is much clouded. I cannot explain them properly and how I can even use photography to present them?

Doing a project on something you don’t understand is a great way of coming to terms with it! To try and understand the subject of love I have spent a lot of time researching. I have read lots of articles and books about 'love', 'in love', 'moment', 'forever', 'photography purpose', 'photography records a moment forever’, yet the subject becomes more confusing. Until, I read Roland Barthes' Camera Lucida. He describes the function of photography as ‘That has been’.

"What I see has been here, in this place which extends between infinity and the subject (operator or spectator)." - Roland Barthes.

'That-has-been' is something definitely inside of 'love' and 'in love', whatever 'in love' means. I want to use photography to capture the essence of such a feeling and to tell a story to demonstrate the love existing between a couple. Is that possible? There is one painting I really like - The Arnolfini Portrait, 1434 by Jon von Eyck. I think this is the best image to prove a secular sense of love with so many details. People spend lots of time to trying to discover the meaning of all the objects in this painting. I think this is an excellent way of telling the story. So I would like use the same format to construct my pictures.

I'm looking for volunteers who would like to be involved in the project with me. If you agree to help me with this project, I would appreciate if you can find:
- some old pictures between you and your partner.
- objects which are very memorable, evidence of love.
- any reference you want to address in the pictures (we can discuss that).

If you'd like to discuss this further, please email me back. I look forward to hearing from you.